A Series of Kisses
by KaariJGib
Summary: Mini fics based around different kinds of kisses. Each chapter will stand alone. This is not a crossover, it's just about my two OTPs. There is a possibility that I will add different pairings and fandoms as I go. But it will primarily be m!Hawke/Fenris and mShenko. This will be 99% fluffy, but I'm rating it M because some of the kisses will be somewhat steamy ;)
1. Hand Kisses

"Fasta vass!"

Gabe was filling a pot with ingredients for stew when he heard Fenris. His head jerked up at the hissed curse. Across camp near a partially erected tent, Fenris cupped one of his hands with the other against his chest. His eyes were clenched shut and his teeth bared in a grimace. "Fenris? What's wrong?" Gabe asked worriedly as he got up from the log he was sitting on to approach the elf.

He took a slow deep breath, and looked down at his hand. A few more foreign curses spilled from his lips instead of an answer, but he didn't resist when Gabe took his hand. Gabe tilted it toward the dying light of the sun. Right in the center of the lyrium lined palm was a tiny pumping stinger. His eyes flicked up to see Fenris glaring down at his hand. "Catching bees, were you?" he asked teasingly? "There are much easier ways to get honey."

"I put my hand in a patch of clover when I moved to stand," Fenris growled.

Gabe grimaced in sympathy, and turned his attention back to the stinger. Very gently he prodded at it with his thumbnail until it came loose. The skin of Fenris' palm was already starting to turn red and swell, more than Gabe would have expected. "Are you allergic to bees?" he asked, flicking the stinger off his thumbnail.

"I… I do not remember," Fenris admitted.

Gabe prodded at the tender skin, and Fenris let out a hiss. "You probably are, if it's as painful as it seems," he said. Fenris had confessed to him once that activating his markings felt like having his skin sliced open. For him to show any reaction at all to a little bee sting, it must be pretty bad. The swelling was spreading visibly, and Gabe could see lines of red already reaching Fenris' wrist.

He cursed and whispered a spell he'd learned from Anders, letting his eyes fall half closed as he concentrated on directing the healing energy. Warm golden light engulfed Fenris' hand, which looked oddly delicate cupped between Gabe's larger hands.

When he felt that the bee's poison was gone, and the flesh of Fenris' palm was healed, Gabe let go of the power coiling inside him and opened his eyes fully to survey his workmanship. The skin was the color of honey, and the swelling was gone.

"Thank you," Fenris murmured.

Gabe smiled and brought Fenris' hand up to his mouth. He kissed the palm where the stinger had been, and smiled as he felt the lyrium lines tingle against his lips. "You're welcome," he answered simply. "But if you really want to thank me, we're going to need to camp further away from Varric and Isabela. I wouldn't want to disturb their sleep."

"Disturb their sleep?" Fenris echoed suspiciously.

"With your cries of passion," Gabe answered with a smirk.

Fenris rolled his eyes and pulled his hand free, only to smack Gabe in the chest with it. Gabe laughed and turned back to preparing dinner.

((A/N: This was also part of my Gabe Hawke Minifics, but that's because I wasn't sure if I was going to do more than one story with more than one pairing))


	2. Cheek Kisses

"You're going to give yourself a headache."

Kaidan looked up to see Shepard standing in the office doorway, his hands braced on the frames, and leaning inward slightly. He was barefoot, and bare-chested, wearing only a soft looking pair of blue and black pajama bottoms. He looked comfortable enough to lay on.

The fact that Kaidan could look at all those muscles and still think of Shepard as a mobile body pillow told him that he definitely needed sleep. He glanced at the clock and winced when he saw how late it had gotten. But the report he was working on was important, and he was almost finished. He didn't want to lose his momentum if he stopped working on it now.

"I'm almost done. Maybe a half-hour of work left to go," Kaidan said. "You don't have to wait up for me though. Why don't you go to bed?"

Shepard nodded his understanding, although Kaidan was amused to see that he was pouting slightly. Of the two of them, he was the worst work-a-holic. "Alright," he said. "Just don't let me find you asleep on the desk here in the morning. Sleeping in that chair is really bad for your back."

Kaidan chucked. "Yeah, you would know," he answered. He'd never fallen asleep at the desk himself, but he'd found Shepard asleep in here plenty of times. "I'll come to bed soon, I promise."

Shepard walked over to stand next to Kaidan. He ran his fingers through Kaidan's hair and down the back of his neck, squeezing the tight muscles there until Kaidan groaned. Kaidan leaned his cheek against Shepard's stomach and accepted the one handed massage wordlessly. "I'll hold you to that," Shepard said after a moment. He gave one last squeeze and turned to leave the office.

Kaidan smiled after his retreating form then turned back to his report. Unfortunately, he estimated wrong, and it ended up taking over an hour to finish. He stood and stretched, wincing at the stiffness in his back from sitting in the uncomfortable chair for too long.

Bed was definitely calling his name.

He shut off all the lights and went to the room he shared with Shepard in the apartment they lived in while they were on the Citadel. It wasn't quite as big as the one Anderson had given Shepard years ago, back during the war, but it still felt like too long of a walk because of how tired he was.

He undressed in the dark and climbed into bed next to his husband. Shepard was curled on his side, facing away from Kaidan, snoring softly.

Kaidan lay down behind him and draped an arm over his ribs. That was enough to wake Shepard, because he rolled over and snuggled close. He began nuzzling Kaidan's jaw, and pressing soft kisses to his cheek.

"That was longer than half an hour," Shepard murmured in between kisses.

"Yeah," Kaidan said, turning his head when Shepard nudged him with his nose. The soft kisses resumed on his other cheek. "Sorry 'bout that."

Shepard grunted in response and nuzzled his face under Kaidan's jaw and went back to sleep. Kaidan smiled, and joined him.


	3. Nose Kisses

"Ugh, no I don't want to play with you!"

Fenris looked over and saw Isabela refusing to take the stick Spark was holding in his mouth. Spark whined, and dropped the lower half of his body to the ground while his hind end swung wildly back and forth with the wagging of his tail. When Isabela told him no again, he whined.

"Aw look," Merrill cooed. "You're breaking his heart."

Spark whined again and gave Isabela his saddest face.

"I don't care," Isabela said. "Look what he wants to play fetch with!"

Fenris took pity on her. "Come here, Spark," he said. "I'll play."

The mabari hopped up and ran over to Fenris, prancing excitedly around him in several circles before he dropped his prize at Fenris' feet. He barked once, loudly, and began to hop back and forth eagerly.

Now Fenris could see why Isabela didn't want to play fetch. What he'd thought was a branch was a dried out forearm. He wrinkled his nose and gave Spark a skeptical look. "Find me an actual stick and we'll play," he said.

Spark snorted at him, clearly questioning Fenris' judgment.

"Spark, what have I told you about playing with corpses?" Gabe scolded as he came out of the woods with an armful of firewood. "Go bury that somewhere."

Spark whined. Fenris rolled his eyes and grabbed one of the longer, thinner pieces of wood Gabe was carrying. He waved it in front of the mabari's nose. "Go quickly, and we'll play when you get back."

Spark barked, and jumped up on Fenris, who would have been knocked over backward if he hadn't known what to expect. As it was, the dog was bigger than he was standing on his hind legs, and Fenris had to brace himself with one foot planted behind himself. He closed his eyes and held his breath as Spark licked his face happily several times.

"Get off him, boy," Gabe said with a laugh. "Before you drown him."

Spark obeyed, and ran off with the desiccated arm.

"Yuck, dog drool," Merrill said, her delicate nose wrinkled.

"And he just had a dead person's arm in his mouth," Isabela added, looking slightly green at the idea.

Fenris kept his eyes closed and huffed out a breath. "Thank you for the reminder."

Gabe laughed as he dropped the pile of wood. He pulled a cloth from one of his belt pouches and, taking Fenris' chin in his hand, used it to clean away the slobber. "Ah, the life of a dog owner," he said with a grin. Once Fenris' face was dry, he leaned forward and rubbed his nose against Fenris'. "It's a good thing I don't mind a little dog slobber."

"I may never let you kiss me again," Isabela said in disgust.

Fenris smiled up at his mage. "More for me," he murmured just loud enough for Gabe to hear.

Gabe smiled warmly, and kissed the tip of Fenris' nose in response. "Always more for you," he said softly.


	4. Forehead Kisses

"You shouldn't be up."

Shepard stood in the doorway of the office and glared at his husband. He pulled the quilt tighter around his shoulders and did his best to look healthy in the face of Kaidan's disapproval. "I'm tired of lying in bed," he countered. He winced at the sound of his own voice. It sounded rough and nasally from congestion. Modern medicine could bring him back from the dead, but apparently the common cold would be a medical mystery for eternity.

Kaidan raised an eyebrow at him, and Shepard almost, _almost_ gave in and went back to bed. But he stood his ground because one- he was really done with lying in bed all day, and two- he was Commander-Fucking-Shepard and he could do as he damn well pleased.

"Well what would you rather do?" Kaidan asked. He set aside the data pad he'd been working on, and got up from the desk.

Realizing he'd won, Shepard deflated slightly. "I don't know," he muttered. "Just so long as it doesn't involve lying down."

"How about sitting on the couch?" Kaidan asked.

Shepard nodded. "Yeah, let's do that."

Kaidan's mouth quirked up in a sympathetic smile, and he reached up to cup Shepard's cheek, rubbing his thumb back and forth over a scar. "Alright, go make yourself comfortable and I'll make us some tea."

"Tea?" Shepard whined.

"You sound like death," Kaidan said with a chuckle. "It'll help with the congestion. Tea cures everything."

"Then why don't they put it in pill capsules and sell it at the pharmacy?" Shepard mumbled sullenly as he turned to walk down the hall, the quilt trailing behind him. He plopped down on the couch and pulled his knees up to his chest, then adjusted the blanket until it was wrapped around him and covering the lower half of his face.

He couldn't get to his omnitool that way, but he was content to sit in silence while Kaidan puttered around in the kitchen. He was starting to doze off when the sharp whistle of the tea kettle jolted him fully awake. Minutes later Kaidan was standing in front of him, holding out a steaming mug.

Shepard snaked a hand out of the blanket and took the mug by the handle and shifted the quilt down to uncover his mouth. He sniffed at the hot liquid although he didn't expect to smell anything through his congestion. To his surprise he caught the scent of peppermint, and his sinuses cleared slightly. Holding the mug just under his nose, he sniffed again, this time able to take a deeper breath.

"Drinking it works even better," Kaidan said as he settled down on the couch next to him.

Shepard took a sip. The tea was hot, but a cooling sensation spread through his throat and sinuses from the peppermint. It was sweetened with honey which also soothed his sore throat. "I'm not convinced it cures everything," he said, glad to find that his voice sounded better. "But it's helping me breathe."

"That's the idea," Kaidan replied with a smile as he turned on the TV and started flipping through their movie directory. "What do you want to watch? Action? Thriller?" He turned a wide grin to Shepard and his eyes sparkled with mirth. "I've got a few romances that Tali sent me if you're feeling sentimental."

"Actually, that sounds nice," Shepard said. When he was met with silence he lifted an eyebrow at Kaidan. "What?"

Kaidan shook his head. "I usually have to twist your arm to get you to watch one," he answered as he tapped a command into his omni tool and began to load a movie.

Shepard smiled and leaned into Kaidan, snuggling closer when Kaidan wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "I'll probably fall asleep halfway through," he said.

Kaidan rolled his eyes, but pulled Shepard closer. He pressed his lips to Shepard's forehead in a gentle kiss. "Well at least finish your tea first," he said softly before kissing Shepard's feverish skin again.

"Yes, Sir," Shepard said, lifting the mug to his lips obediently.


	5. Neck Kisses

"… can't believe the Champion brought his manservant…"

"… heard they are lovers…"

"… very beautiful for a knife-ear…"

Fenris turned a sneer on the noble who whispered that last comment, glaring until the young man flushed and beat a hasty retreat with his lady companion close on his heels. They would probably just find a better corner to watch him from and complain about his manners, but Fenris didn't care as long as he didn't have to listen to them.

He shifted, feeling the unfamiliar tightness of his clothing, the restriction of the boots on his feet. It took an enormous effort not to tug at the cravat every few seconds. _Never again,_ he told himself. _Never again will I let Gabe talk me into coming to one of these events._

He told himself that, but deep down he knew that he couldn't resist if Gabe really wanted him to go. Gabe had convinced him with a combination of what Merrill would most certainly label "puppy eyes", fine alcohol, and expertly placed kisses.

Mostly it had been the kisses. Fenris always felt weak when Gabe's mouth was on his body. He would hate himself for that if he didn't love the mage so much.

It may not have been so bad if they had been separated almost immediately after arriving at the de Launcet's ball. The hostess had taken one look at Fenris, her eyes cold as they swept over him in his finery, and immediately pulled Gabe away to meet some eligible young women.

Gabe had shot a worried look over his shoulder, but had been helpless to resist without making a scene.

Fenris wished he'd made a scene.

For over an hour he had lurked at the edges of the gathering, avoiding conversation and as many eyes as possible. He had two things that soothed his irritation though. One was that no one had mistaken him for a servant yet, for which he could thank the expensive clothing Isabela had picked out for him. And the second was that Gabe looked completely miserable, too.

At least he had the last time Fenris had seen him. He frowned, realizing it had been quite a while since he'd caught a glimpse of the mage. The last time he'd seen him, Gabe had been surrounded by a gaggle of lovely young ladies, all of whom seemed intent to catch his attention. Apparently wealth and a danger of aura were enough to let them see past the fact that Gabe was a mage.

An image of Gabe hiding in a corner with one of those lovely young women drifted through Fenris' imagination, and he ground his teeth in irritation. Gabe wouldn't…

"He _wouldn't…_" Fenris hissed to himself.

"Who wouldn't what?"

Fenris jumped slightly at the unexpected voice. He turned to glare at Gabe, putting all his frustration into the look. "It is unwise sneak up on me," he growled instead of answering the question.

Gabe's eyes widened and he tilted his head uncertainly. "I've never been able to sneak up on you before," he said. "It was not my intent to startle you."

Fenris huffed out a frustrated breath and lifted his wine glass to his mouth. Halfway there, he realized it was empty and he wanted to throw it in frustration. He only just refrained, instead turning on a heel to stalk stiffly towards the refreshment table. He'd only taken a few steps before Gabe's hands came around his waist pulling him to a halt.

"Are you angry with me?" Gabe asked against his ear.

"Do I have reason to be?" Fenris growled as he turned in Gabe's arms. "It's not like I've had to watch you get fawned over by beaut-" he clamped his mouth shut when he realized he sounded like a jealous lover.

But it was too late. Gabe's eyes began to sparkle with humor. "Fenris, are you jealous?" he asked in a tone that said he already knew the answer.

"No!" Fenris denied hotly. "I am just upset that I let you talk me into coming here tonight. I do not belong here."

Some of the sparkle faded from Gabe's eyes, and he sighed regretfully. "I am sorry," he said ruefully. "I just hate these things, and was hoping that your company would make it more bearable."

"I would be more likely to believe that if you weren't constantly surrounded by fawning admirers," Fenris growled.

That brought the humor back to Gabe's expression. "You _are_ jealous!"

Fenris opened his mouth to object but broke off when Gabe suddenly pulled him in the direction of a curtained alcove. They ducked behind the cloth and Fenris found himself pressed against the wall, pinned by Gabe's much larger body.

"Trust me," Gabe breathed against Fenris' mouth. "You have no need to be jealous."

And then lightning flared through Fenris' markings when Gabe leaned down and ran his tongue from Fenris' chin, following one of the lines of lyrium up until he could seal his mouth over Fenris'. The kiss was deep and possessive, and Fenris began to feel light headed. He realized he'd been holding his breath and sucked air in through his nose.

Gabe broke the kiss, and pressed his forehead against Fenris'. His breath was coming in labored gasps, each exhale warming Fenris' skin. "Does that convince you?" he asked.

Absolutely. But Fenris wanted more. "I am not sure," he rasped. "Is that the only proof you have to bear?"

Whiskey eyes glinted wickedly at the challenge in Fenris' voice. In answer, Gabe kissed him again, and Fenris allowed himself to be swept away with it. When Gabe's mouth moved back to his chin, he tilted his head upward giving access to his throat.

Gabe took the invitation and kissed and suckled his way down, nipping first with his lips, then with his teeth when Fenris groaned under his mouth. He laved each lyrium marking with his tongue then stopped to suckle just below Fenris' jaw.

The electric sizzle of Gabe's power spread through the markings on Fenris' neck, making his head buzz. He reached up and dug the fingers of both hands into Gabe's hair, holding him in place. Gabe growled and somehow managed to press himself even closer to Fenris.

The curtain hiding the alcove swept back, and a young couple, giggling and pawing at each other froze at the sight of Gabe and Fenris locked together against the wall. Fenris barely heard their tittering apologies. He was lost to the sensations centered around Gabe's mouth.

Gabe chuckled against his throat, pulling back slightly and making Fenris tighten his fingers in protest. "I think it's time we made our goodbyes," he said huskily against Fenris' skin. He rocked his hips against Fenris, and they both groaned at the friction. "I have pressing matters to attend to at home."

Fenris chuckled, suddenly feeling much better about the evening. "Yes, I think that would be for the best," he replied with a smile full of promise.


	6. Shoulder Kisses

**((Note: This story references my Mass Effect Big Bang story "A Breathtaking View"))**

"How is he doing, Major?"

Kaidan was grateful that video communication was only being used for critical matters so that Hackett wouldn't see him grimace. He kept his voice smooth and optimistic when he answered. "He's doing great, sir. Being out of the spotlight has lowered his stress level, and he's healing up nicely."

"Good to hear it," Hackett answered. "I had my reservations about letting him out of the hospital so soon, but if you say he's doing well then I'll take your word for it."

"Yeah," Kaidan said. "Miss Lawson said his tests are coming back positive when she visits, and he's working well with the physical therapists. Mostly."

Hackett chuckled. "I trust you'll keep him on track, Major."

"Yes, sir," Kaidan replied with a smile. They exchanged a few more pleasantries before the call ended. Kaidan leaned back in his chair and covered his face with his hand.

What he'd told Hackett about Shepard was mostly true. He was responding well to his treatments, and doing his PT mostly without complaint. But Kaidan was worried about Shepard's mental state. He was plagued with nightmares, and boughts of depression.

A muffled thump and a curse had Kaidan jerking his head around. He got up and hurried toward the bathroom. What he found made his heart stutter fearfully.

Shepard was sitting on the floor, his crutches laying next to him. Kaidan couldn't see his face at this angle because Shepard had his head down, staring at his hands.

Which were covered in blood.

"John?" Kaidan gasped. He closed the space betwen them and knelt down in the small space next to Shepard. "What happened?" He took Shepard's hands in his own. That's when he saw the blood was dripping down from Shepard's face. He reached out and tilted Shepard's chin up.

The blood was coming from a gash on his jaw. A glance at the sink revealed a splash of red on the white porcelin. Shepard must have lost his footing and hit his face on the way down. He opened his mouth to scold him for not calling for help, but then he realized that Shepard was shaking.

His blue eyes were dilated so widely that they looked black, and his eyes were locked on the blood on his hands. His breathing was shallow and erratic. It reminded Kaidan of the panic attacks Shepard suffered from when he started remembering his death at the hands of the Collectors.

"John?" Kaidan cupped thet uninjured side of Shepard's jaw. "Look at me, John."

Shepard's eyes came up slowly. "Kaidan?" he said in a small voice. "I'm alive, right?"

Kaidan's heart dropped into the pit of his stomach at the lost look in Shepard's eyes. "God, John..." he had to clear his throat so that he could speak past the lump in it. "Yeah, you're alive. Of course you are."

The reassurance didn't seem to help. If anything, Shepard started to shake even harder. His eyes dropped down to his hands. "K, I can't... don't..." he broke off with a gasp, and curled in on himself.

"Hey," Kaidan said urgently. He shifted around until he sat on the floor leaning against the wall. He pulled Shepard between his legs, careful not to jostle his bad leg or agravate any of the bandages covering recent skin grafts. He wrapped his arms around Shepard's bare shoulders. "John, listen. You're alive. We made it."

Shepard turned as much as he could in Kaidan's arms and buried his face against Kaidan's chest. He was shaking so badly that his teeth were chattering, and his skin felt cold.

Kaidan pulled him close and rocked him gently. Remembering that Shepard reacted well to hearing his voice during other panic attacks he whispered assurances.

"I'm here Shepard. You're here with me."

"The war..."

"It's over. It's done and the reapers are gone."

"It doesn't feel right, K..."

And it went on like that for a while, Kaidan reassuring Shepard that they were alive and everything was going to be alright. Shepard's trembling finally faded away and they sat quietly.

Kaidan brushed his lips over Shepard's shoulder. "John?"

"Yeah, Kaidan?" Shepard whispered hoarsely.

"My legs are asleep."

Shepard's shoulder began to shake against Kaidan's mouth, and for just a moment he was afraid the trembling was starting again. But a rumble of noise rose up out of the broken man in his arms that sounded suspiciously like laughter.

"Mine too," Shepard said. "And I have to tell you, it's a huge improvement."

"How about we get off this floor before we're both crippled?" Kaidan prompted.

Shepard lifted his head, and Kaidan was relieved to see that he no longer looked shell shocked and broken. "Yeah, I think that's a good idea," Shepard said.

It took them a while to get up, and Kaidan cursed as pins and needles attcked him from the waist down. But they eventually made it to their feet and into the bedroom. Shepard had bled all over his pajama bottoms, so Kaidan got him cleaned up and changed and into the bed that they were sharing. Kaidan crawled in next to him, cuddling as close as possible, careful not to jostle injuries. He nuzzled Shepard's shoulder and smiled when Shepard shifted closer to him.

"You're going to be alright," Kaidan whispered against Shepard's skin. He wondered if Shepard could tell that he was trying to reassure himself of that fact as well.

Shepard turned his head on the pillow and smiled. Kaidan felt the lump form in his throat again. That was something he'd almost lost forever.

"Yeah," Shepard agreed. "So you've been telling me."

"Do you believe it?" Kaidan asked.

"As long as you're here with me, I do. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Kaidan smiled and pressed his lips to Shepard's shoulder again. "I've told you before," he said between soft kisses. "You'll never have to find out."


	7. Back Kisses

**A/N: This one got long... and angsty... and NSFW :D**

"Merrill, I don't think it's a good idea for you to be alone."

She squirmed away from him until his hand fell away from her shoulder. "Maybe not," she replied in a sad monotone that still managed to sound musical with her Dalish accent. "But it's what I want." She slipped into the dark interior of her home, closing the door softly behind her.

Gabe stared at the scarred wood, wishing he could have changed what had happened. Wishing he hadn't agreed to help Merrill with that damned mirror. Wishing the Keeper hadn't fallen to the demon. Wishing the clan hadn't fallen beneath his magic.

Varric sighed. "Well, we can't force our company on her." He looked up at Gabe and smiled wryly. "But it's a beautiful night. I think I'll hang around a bit."

Gabe nodded his appreciation. He turned on his heel and stalked out of the alienage, Fenris shadowing him silently and radiating disapproval. Fenris had been silent since Gabe had snapped at him to leave Merrill alone after Marethari lost her life. Now that they were alone, he let out a soft snort of disgust.

"What?" Gabe snapped. It came out sharper than he intended, but he was tired and having a hard time keeping his anger in check. "What?" he asked again, forcing his voice into a gentler tone.

"You are going too easy on her," Fenris answered sharply.

Somehow Gabe knew he was going to say that. Suppressing the urge to roll his eyes, or grind his teeth, he turned away and began the long walk to Hightown. "She doesn't deserve my anger," he said. He was angry. Furious, in fact.

Fenris grabbed Gabe's arm, the black steel tips of the gauntlets digging in painfully, and jerked him to a halt. "She meddled with a demon and got her whole clan killed. Yet you coddle her because she does not deserve your anger?"

"Marethari made a choice, too," Hawke said without looking down at the elf. His voice didn't show a hint of the anger roiling under his skin.

"A choice she would not have made if Merrill had heeded her please to leave the path she was on-"

Hawke didn't want to hear anymore. "I know!" he snapped. "But she was the Keeper. She should have known better."

"She certainly did not teach Merrill better," Fenris growled.

Gabe's anger had been on a low simmer, but now it boiled up inside him. He jerked around, pulling his arm out of Fenris' grasp. The elf's mossy green eyes sparked with defiance, and for a split second Gabe's anger was eclipsed by pride that Fenris was standing up to him. It gave him enough leverage over his anger to push it back down. He took a deep breath, and spoke with deliberate calm. "You need to let this go," he said. "I don't want to argue about it."

Too angry to be aware of Gabe's anger, Fenris threw up his hands in disgust. "Of course not," he sneered.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Gabe demanded.

"Would you be this understanding of the situation if you weren't an abomina-" Fenris broke off suddenly. His green eyes widened with horror over his own words.

Gabe felt his jaw sag open. He took a deep breath to say something, anything. Nothing came out. Pain lanced through his heart. How long had Fenris felt this way? He'd left after Gabe merged with Compassion, but he'd come back eventually. Gabe had thought that Fenris had accepted them, but apparently he'd been wrong.

"Gabe, I-" Fenris began, reaching out again to touch Gabe.

"Don't," Gabe choked out. He slashed a hand through the air when Fenris reached for him again. "Don't! Don't touch me!" he snarled. He took several steps back, needing more space.

"I didn't mean-"

"Yes you did," Gabe growled through clenched teeth. "Stay at your own home tonight."

Fenris flinched. "Gabe-"

"No," Gabe snapped. "Just… I need to be alone." He suddenly understood exactly how Merrill felt. There was too much hurt inside him. He couldn't handle being around anyone right now.

When he turned and walked away, he didn't need the enchanted ring on his finger to tell him that Fenris did not follow.

Hours later, Gabe finally fell into an exhausted sleep. The spirit sharing his body prevented him from dreaming, which he would have been grateful for if he'd been aware of anything.

He slept so deeply that he did not hear the creak of the door or feel the shift of the bed. The brush of fingers across the nape of his neck and down his spine was light and gentle. Warm lips pressed between his shoulders, finally waking Gabe.

"I'm sorry," Fenris whispered gruffly before placing another kiss on Gabe's chilled skin.

Gabe opened his eyes to darkness because the fire had burned down to embers. It took only a thought for the flames to flicker back to life despite the lack of wood in the grate. "It's alright," he said softly. It was the truth.

"No," Fenris said as he continued to stroke Gabe's back with his lips and fingers. His touch trailed down until he spread his hand over Gabe's flank. "It is not alright. I should not have called you..."

"An abomination?" Gabe prompted when Fenris trailed off. The fingers on his hip squeezed slightly. More an involuntary flinch than a caress. He moved to roll over, but Fenris' grip tightened, holding him in place. "Fenris…"

Fenris pressed his chest against Gabe's bare back. He was completely nude, a fact that Gabe knew because he also lacked any sort of clothing, and hadn't bothered to pull a blanket over himself before falling asleep. The warmth of his lover's body spread over his back was comforting.

"I should not have said that," Fenris rasped. He pressed his forehead to the back of Gabe's neck. "I… I do not truly believe it."

Gabe knew that. He hadn't gone straight home after leaving Fenris alone in the street. As he'd wandered the streets of Kirkwall, he'd had plenty of time to think, and for his temper to cool. He opened his mouth to speak, but Fenris' voice stopped him.

"It was… difficult… to see how easily Marethari gave in to that demon," Fenris whispered against Gabe's spine. "She was trying to protect Merrill from herself, and it all went wrong."

Anger welled up inside of Gabe again at the enormity of that understatement, but it was not directed at Fenris. He closed his eyes and saw the whole debacle play out against the inside of his mind. Fenris' words were far from adequate to describe what had happened. "Yes," he agreed softly.

Fenris took a shuddering breath and let it out in a warm stream over Gabe's skin. "What you did, when you fought the Arishok. It could have gone wrong."

"But it didn't," Gabe reminded him gently.

"Thank the Maker," Fenris whispered so softly that Gabe wasn't sure he'd heard the words of if they were just his imagination.

They lay together like that in silence for a long while; Fenris draped over Gabe's back like a warm blanket, the fingers on Gabe's hip sliding in soft small circles. It would have been perfect and idyllic if it weren't for the sadness permeating the air.

At least the anger was gone. From both of them.

"Please forgive me," Fenris eventually murmured. The caresses on Gabe's hip stopped. Fenris shifted his weight, pressing his hips into Gabe. Hard flesh settled into the cleft at the base of Gabe's spine.

Gabe couldn't resist the grin that spread across his face. For as long as they had been together now, it was still rare for Fenris to initiate anything sexual. He was surprisingly shy about expressing his desires. Gabe squirmed his hips and Fenris hissed at the friction.

"Gabe," Fenris groaned in warning when the mage shifted under him again.

"If I tell you that you're forgiven will you make love to me?" Gabe asked huskily.

Fenris gave a slight growl that could have been frustration or amusement over Gabe's flippant dismissal of his apology. He nudged his hips downward and Gabe could feel him become even harder. Instead of answering, Fenris pulled away suddenly. He sat up and straddled Gabe's thighs.

Gabe held his breath as he waited to see what Fenris would do. Slim fingers dug deeply into the muscles of Gabe's lower back, forcing the air out of his lungs in a groan at the pleasurable pain of the massage. Fenris leaned back down and feathered kisses between Gabe's shoulders. Soft lips and strong fingers moved lower until eventually Gabe felt the muscles of his buttocks spread. His breath hitched when a warm tongue swept over sensitive skin. His fingers curled into the blankets, and he turned his head to bury his face in the pillow. Fenris nudged his tongue deeper and growled darkly when Gabe squirmed.

"Fenris," Gabe whined. His whole body twitched with the need to thrust himself into the bedding, but he forced himself to hold still so the talented mouth kissing him so intimately wouldn't be encouraged to stop.

When Fenris finally did stop, Gabe whimpered. The warmth of the elf's body left his lower legs and Gabe turned his head to see Fenris reaching for the bottle of oil they kept on the bedside table. He was hard, the softly glowing lyrium pulsing with his heartbeat. His mossy green eyes burned with need, and once he had the bottle in hand he moved to straddle Gabe's thighs once more.

Gabe swallowed thickly. It was a rare treat to have Fenris inside of him. As he felt his lover press gently at his entrance with a thumb, he pushed back as much as he could with his legs trapped under Fenris' thighs.

One hand came down on the base of his spine, holding him still. "Patience," Fenris rasped. "I don't want to hurt you."

Gabe forced his clenched fingers to let go of the blanket, and concentrated on unclenching muscles that were tight with desire. After a moment, slick fingers began probing Gabe again, and he groaned when one finally slid inside of him. When a second finger joined it he bit the pillows and attempted to push his hips back, but Fenris' weight on his thighs held him still. "Fenris," he groaned.

"Hm?" Fenris' hum somehow conveyed a wicked smile.

Hawke twisted to look over his shoulder to see that there was definitely a glint in the elf's eyes that said he knew exactly what the mage wanted. One side of Fenris' mouth lifted, along with one thin black brow. "Please," Gabe breathed.

Fenris' eyes flared, and he leaned forward to brace himself over Gabe's body. Leaning all his weight on one arm, he wrapped his other around Gabe's neck to hold him into the kiss. Gabe could feel the hard length of Fenris' dick sliding against his ass and he tried to squirm again as the blunt head slid over his entrance teasingly instead of inside of him where he really wanted it.

Gabe bit Fenris' lip, and the elf chuckled darkly. The hand he had wrapped over Hawke's jaw disappeared and moved to guide Fenris' hardness into Gabe's waiting body. They both groaned as Fenris slowly slid into place. Gabe buried his face in the pillow again while Fenris relaxed onto him, covering him like a blanket. Tattooed arms slid up under Gabe's arms and hugged his chest.

They lay that way for a few minutes, their breathing providing just enough movement for the time being. Gabe could feel the lyrium pulsing with magic where their skin touched, and even deep inside. Fenris' breath against his oversensitized skin had him tensing under the onslaught of sensation and he groaned. He began to squirm under the elf's lighter body.

Fenris tightened his grip, and began to thrust his hips.

"Thank the Maker," Gabe growled into the pillow as he arched his back to take more. The friction of the blanket under his own stiff flesh was driving him crazy, but Fenris was pumping into him at just the right angle, and Gabe was afraid to move and lose that.

"Gabe," Fenris grunted. "I'm going to... to..."

"Yes," Gabe said harshly. "Inside me, please."

Fenris's thrusts became harder, the timing more erratic. He cried out against Gabe's back and bit down on the muscle hard enough that there would likely be a bruise.

When Fenris' finally went still, Gabe twitched his body enough to roll the elf off of him. He scrambled to his knees and roughly pushed Fenris onto his back. Too wild with need to search for the bottle of oil, he cast a tiny spell and coated his fingers with grease.

Fenris grunted as Gabe thrust a finger inside of him, slicking him while casting a mild healing spell to make sure he didn't cause injury. Two fingers, and then three, and Fenris was staring up at him with heavy lidded eyes, his mouth open and panting. Gabe finally wrapped his slippery fingers over his own erection, spreading the oil thoroughly over himself. With one hand, Gabe gripped under Fenris' knee and held his legs open while he guided himself roughly into the elf's tight entrance.

Fenris hissed at the sudden invasion, but he smiled and reached up with both hands to wrap his fingers in Gabe's hair to pull him down for an opened mouth kiss that was full of tongue and teeth and shared breath. Gabe pumped into his lover more roughly than usual, but Fenris welcomed every thrust.

It didn't take very long before Gabe was whimpering into Fenris' mouth. A spark of electricity arced between their bottom lips, and that was enough to send Gabe over the edge. He bucked a few more times, hard and deep before he collapsed forward onto his elbows.

He braced his forehead on Fenris' collarbone and concentrated on remembering how to breathe normally. As he began to soften, he pulled free and rolled onto his side, pulling Fenris close.

The room was silent except for the crackle of flames in the hearth. Gabe traced his fingers over the lines of lyrium on Fenris' belly and stared off towards the windows even though the drapes were pulled closed for the night.

"There is nothing to forgive," Gabe said into the silence.

"But-"

Gabe cut him off with a gentle squeeze. "But nothing. There is nothing to forgive."

After a moment, Fenris nodded his head against Gabe's shoulder. "Alright," he agreed quietly. "Thank you."

Gabe squeezed him again before pulling the blanket around both their bodies, and settling in for the night. They were both asleep within minutes.


	8. Collarbone Kisses

Kaidan woke slowly, groggy from too much stress and too little sleep. He was a little cool despite being under a blanket and he reached for Shepard's warmth only to find he was alone in the bed. He lifted himself up on an elbow and scrubbed his free hand over his face to chase away the last of the sleepiness that clung to him.

That's when he registered the tinkling of the piano. The sound was soft since it was coming from the lower level on the other side of the apartment, but Kaidan suspected that was what had woken him.

He threw back the blanket and stood. Unmindful of his nudity, he ventured out of the room he and Shepard shared when they had business on the Citadel and followed the tuneless music. On the balcony, he stopped. He could see Shepard sitting at the piano, softly pressing keys in a pattern that seemed random.

Shepard's shoulders were hunched, his head bowed. Kaidan could see how tired the man was in the lines of his back, and his heart sank a little. Shepard kept up a strong façade in front of everyone, denying the stress that he was under, even to Kaidan. It was painful to see him in unguarded moments like this, when it was possible to see how heavy duty sat on his shoulders.

Kaidan opened his mouth, intending to call out to Shepard, but before he could do more than take a breath the other man sat up straighter. The tuneless tinkling changed, and Kaidan paused to listen.

The music was very old, but familiar. The haunting strains of the Moonlight Sonata filled the apartment, and Kaidan's breath hitched at the beauty. Shepard was playing quietly, slowly, imbuing the music with all of his pain and disillusion. He rocked back and forth as he played, and Kaidan was almost hypnotized by the sight.

He found himself moving, walking down the stairs and padding silently across the room until he stood near Shepard. Kaidan knew Shepard was aware of his presence by the small shift of his head in Kaidan's direction, but Shepard didn't stop playing. If anything, the sound of music swelled and gained a sense of urgency, as if Shepard wanted to hold back but could not. Not now that he had started.

When the strains of music finally faded into silence, Shepard didn't move. Kaidan realized he'd been holding his breath and sucked in a lungful of air. "Wow, John," he said on a sigh. He didn't quite know how to articulate what he was feeling, so he settled for something simple and safe. "I uh… didn't know you could play the piano."

Shepard turned his head and his eyes glinted with humor. "I haven't in a very long time," he answered.

Kaidan sat down on the bench next to Shepard, and leaned over to prop his chin on the other man's shoulder. "How long?" he asked. He regretted the question when Shepard's shoulders tightened, but he couldn't take it back.

"Not since before my parents died," Shepard answered quietly. "We had a piano in our house. My dad paid an exorbitant amount of money to have it shipped out to the colony for my mom's birthday one year." He turned and pressed his mouth against Kaidan's forehead. For a moment it didn't seem like he would say any more, but after a moment he pulled back and smiled a little wistfully. "My mom ran a daycare out of our house, and she'd give lessons to some of the kids."

"And you too, huh?" Kaidan asked with a smile. He sat up straight so he could watch the light from the windows play across Shepard's features.

"Yeah," Shepard answered. His smile turned a little shy. "I uh… also play guitar."

"Did your mom teach you that too?"

Shepard shook his head. "No," he answered. His voice was quiet, and threaded with sadness. "I stayed with my mom's cousin after… after I left Mindoir. He taught me. Handed me a guitar and told me that music keeps kids out of trouble."

Kaidan grinned at the mental image. "Did it work?"

"Sort of?" Shepard answered with an impish grin. Kaidan was glad to see that he no longer looked as if the weight of the galaxy were crushing him.

He laughed at the vague answer. "What? Did you try to start a rock band with a bunch of punk kids or something?"

"I reserve the right to hold my silence," Shepard answered. He nudged his shoulder against Kaidan's, and changed the subject. "Sorry if I woke you. I couldn't sleep."

"Hey, there are worse ways to be woken up," Kaidan teased.

"I hear that," Shepard replied with a snort.

Shepard ran his fingers over the keys again, plunking out sounds if not quite music, like he had been doing when Kaidan first woke up. After a moment, he turned to Kaidan with a smile. "I think I'm ready to try sleeping again," he said.

They walked back up to the bedroom hand in hand. They settled into bed, and Kaidan pulled Shepard close. Shepard tucked his head under Kaidan's chin and pressed a trail of kisses over his collarbone, and the soft skin over his pulse.

"Keep that up, and we won't be going back to sleep," Kaidan warned quietly.

Kaidan felt Shepard's smile against his skin, then in a flash of movement, Shepard was above him, trapping Kaidan in a cage of arms and legs. "You say that like it's a bad thing, Major," Shepard rumbled.

Kaidan reached up to wrap his arms around Shepard's shoulders and pulled him down into a kiss. Their mouths moved gently against each other, but they were both breathing deeply when they finally broke apart several minutes later. "Definitely not a bad thing, Commander" he whispered hoarsely.

Shepard grinned, and Kaidan's heart thumped painfully in response to the cheerful expression that he didn't see nearly often enough. As their mouths clashed again in a second kiss, this one nowhere near as gentle as the last, he silently promised himself to do everything in his power to make sure that he could see that smile many more times in the future.


	9. Stomach Kisses

"When I told her that I didn't need her advice Aveline just gave me this _look_," Gabe exclaimed as he stalked back and forth, waving his hands expressively.

Fenris, who had been leaning against the mantle, arms crossed over his chest, smothered a smile at Gabe's agitation. "But she did not say anything more?" he asked in an even voice.

Gabe shot a wry look over his shoulder but kept pacing. "She doesn't need to say anything to make me feel like I'm twelve again," he grumbled. He stopped pacing and plopped down on the bed, falling backwards and spreading his arms. "I wonder if she even realizes that I'm older than she is."

The smile that had been twitching at Fenris' lips blossomed into a full smile at the petulant tone. He eyed the large body sprawled across the bed, admiring the thick torso and long limbs. "No one would ever mistake you for a twelve year old," he said. "Even when you were twelve, I imagine."

"I was always big for my age," Gabe mumbled. He fell silent and stared up that the canopy of the bed in silence.

Fenris pushed away from the wall and walked to the bed. He stopped between Gabe's spread knees and looked down at the man.

Gabe tilted his chin down so he could look at Fenris without lifting his head from the mattress. He grinned, and his eyes glinted with wicked humor. "I'm still pretty big for my age," he said.

The comment was accompanied by a waggle of dark brows.

Fenris rolled his eyes, but did not bother to suppress the chuckle that rose up within him. "True enough," he agreed.

In a quick movement, Gabe pushed himself up and wrapped his arms around Fenris' waist. He pressed his face into Fenris' stomach. "You like it," he mumbled into the fabric of Fenris' vest.

Gabe's hands slipped under the cloth at Fenris' back, then came forward, lifting the vest and baring the marked skin of Fenris' belly. His lips brushed the curling silvery lines, his tongue traced the dips and curves of muscles.

Fenris pulled his vest off so that it wouldn't impede his view. He then dug his fingers into Gabe's shaggy mane of dark hair, pulling it back from the man's forehead. Gabe's hair was thick and coarse, with just a slight wave. "Aveline is right, you know," he said as he watched Gabe press soft kisses all over his belly.

"Hm?" Gabe tilted his eyes up but didn't stop what he was doing.

"You really do need a haircut," Fenris answered with a small smile.

He laughed when Gabe bit him.


	10. Hipbone Kisses

**A/N: NSFW, light bondage, JM Shepard and Kaidan**

Shepard eyed the strips of cloth doubtfully, then looked up into Kaidan's calm brown eyes. The nervousness he felt at the idea of being tied and blindfolded tangled with excitement. His skin went cold and then hot in waves, and he knew his breathing was not quite even.

Kaidan noticed of course. His brows came down in a worried frown. "It was just an idea," he said, curling his fingers around the cloth and half turning away.

"Wait," Shepard said sharply. At the uncertain look on Kaidan's face, he realized he'd been too sharp. He sighed and reached out to catch the end of one of the binding cloths and rubbed it between his fingers. It was soft like t-shirt material and he wondered if Kaidan had actually cut up a t-shirt for this. "I didn't say no," he said softly. "I was just surprised."

"You're nervous," Kaidan said simply. "And that's alright. I don't want to push you into-"

"Kaidan," Shepard interrupted. He tightened his grip on the cloth and tugged. As he'd hoped, Kaidan allowed the motion to pull him a step closer instead of letting go. "Let's do it," he said in a firm voice

He kept his gaze steady under Kaidan's thoughtful scrutiny, hoping to convey the trust that he felt. Being bound and blindfolded made him nervous because he'd never given up that level of control before, but he trusted Kaidan. Despite Horizon, and Mars. Despite facing him over the barrel of a gun on the Citadel.

He trusted Kaidan. He loved Kaidan. And the more he thought about being at his mercy, the more Shepard wanted Kaidan. His breathing sped up again, but this time in excitement. "Let's do it," he said again.

Kaidan heard the acceptance in Shepard's voice, and he smiled. It was slow, slightly wicked, full of promise, but also relief. He'd been worried about Shepard's initial reaction to his suggestion. He'd gotten used to Shepard taking his orders in sexual situations, and he'd decided to take things a little further. But when Shepard had frozen like a deer in the headlights when Kaidan had suggested tying him down, he'd regretted the decision.

It was a lot to ask for Shepard to trust him this way, especially when Kaidan hadn't given his own trust in the relationship- he cut that thought off. He could beat himself up over that later. Right now, he was going to show Shepard exactly how much he appreciated his trust. "Alright," he agreed.

When he spoke, Shepard's smile widened. Now that the decision was made, Kaidan could see him practically vibrating with excitement.

"Alright," Shepard said. "How do we do this?"

Kaidan almost rolled his eyes, but he refrained. He didn't want to make the other man feel uncomfortable. Instead he sat down on the edge of the bed, one knee pulled up onto the mattress, and the other foot still planted on the floor. He patted the spot next to his knee in invitation. "Sit here," he said.

He was careful to keep the words gentle, more of a request than a command. Pushing too hard right now would not be fun for either of them. Having fun was the point, and Kaidan was going to make sure Shepard enjoyed it, even if they took things slow the first time.

Shepard sat, turned slightly to face Kaidan. Smiling in encouragement, Kaidan took both of Shepard's hands, and pressed them together between his own. He held them together with one hand, and used the other to grab a strip of cloth and wind it around Shepard's wrists. He had to use both hands to tie the cloth, but Shepard didn't pull away.

"Good," Kaidan murmured. He tilted his head toward the bed. "Now lie down on your back. Make yourself comfortable."

Shepard looked down at his wrists, then back up at Kaidan. He lifted an eyebrow in surprise at how loose the bindings were. "This isn't going to hold me," he pointed out dryly.

"It's not meant to," Kaidan said. He gestured to the bed again.

"Then why bother?" Shepard asked. He walked on his knees to the center of the bed, and then fell with a bounce. He wiggled until he was on his back, his head propped on one of the thin pillows that was much more comfortable than it looked.

Kaidan hadn't moved from the foot of the bed. His warm eyes swept over Shepard's body appreciatively. "It's symbolic," he answered simply. "Put your hands above your head."

Shepard did as he was told as he considered Kaidan's words. Despite knowing that he could break free at any time, he felt bound by his need to please Kaidan. He promised himself that he wouldn't try to break his bonds, no matter what Kaidan did to him.

Kaidan still sat at the end of the bed, and after a few minutes Shepard began to squirm under his scrutiny. What was he waiting for? "Is this all there is to it?" he finally asked, his voice light and teasing.

Brown eyes that had been sweeping over his mostly bare body tilted upwards in a smile. "Definitely not," Kaidan answered. Then he smiled.

That smile was so full of wicked intent that Shepard was instantly hard. He shifted his hips, and grinned a little bit himself when the motion brought Kaidan's eyes down to his hips.

Blue eyes twinkled at him in mischief when Kaidan lifted his attention away from the hard length straining against the cloth of Shepard's boxer briefs. It was apparent that Shepard had let go of all his reservations and was already enjoying himself immensely.

Kaidan shifted and crawled over Shepard's body until he was straddling his chest. Bracing his hands on the short wall behind the bed, he leaned forward, pressing his own hardness against Shepard's mouth. He was rewarded with the damp heat of an open mouthed kiss, and he flexed his hips into the caress a few times before he leaned back, careful to brace his weight so he wouldn't restrict Shepard's breathing.

He lifted his hand to show that he still had one strip of cloth. "Are you ready?" Kaidan asked, giving Shepard one more chance to back out.

Shepard's expression was serious when he answered. "I trust you, Kaidan," he said.

Kaidan's heart fluttered madly in his chest and he had to swallow against the wave of emotion that rose up in him. He didn't trust his voice, so he just nodded. With both hands, he laid the cloth over Shepard's bright blue eyes. Shepard lifted his head slightly, giving him room to tie the cloth behind it, and Kaidan was glad that Shepard couldn't see him at the moment.

Once he had it fastened, Kaidan ran his fingers up over Shepard's jaw. He caught one of his thumbs on Shepard's bottom lip and applied pressure until he opened his mouth so Kaidan could slip his thumb inside.

Shepard bit down gently and Kaidan had to stifle a groan. Seeing Shepard bound beneath him was having a strong effect on him than he'd expected.

This was the man who rescued Rachni Queens, destroyed indoctrinated Spectres, survived suicide missions after coming back from the dead once already. He'd brought the genophage cure to the Krogans, and rescued the Council twice. He was going to win this war with the Reapers or die trying, and Kaidan was convinced that Shepard had more lives than a cat, so another death wouldn't slow him down.

And he was spread out under Kaidan, eagerly sucking his thumb, and starting to make small noises in the back of his throat even though Kaidan hadn't barely touched him.

It was humbling.

I love you. Kaidan bit his lip to keep the words back. After keeping them in for so long, he didn't know how to say them out loud. But he could express them without words.

When Kaidan's weight lifted off his chest, Shepard missed it immediately. He actually whimpered when Kaidan's thumb slipped out of his mouth. He almost brought his hands down to reach for the other man, but remembered his promise at the last second.

With the blindfold on he could only feel Kaidan's movements on the mattress. He frowned slightly when Kaidan left the bed, but his ears caught the sound of cloth against skin and he assumed that he was getting fully naked. Shepard shifted again, wanting to be free of the last of his own clothing, but he didn't say anything.

The bed shifted again when Kaidan came back. There was a moment of stillness in which Shepard found himself straining to understand the input he was getting from his remaining senses.

A brush of air across his skin was the only warning he had before he felt Kaidan's broad fingertips trace a line from the hollow of his throat down to circle his belly button. The touch was light enough to raise goosebumps all over Shepard's skin. He shivered.

Kaidan's fingers drew circles over his navel, then trailed back up to circle a nipple without actually touching it. The heat of Kaidan's mouth engulfed Shepard's other nipple unexpectedly, and he arched up off the bed in surprised pleasure. Almost immediately Kaidan pinched the nipple he'd been circling with his fingers tightly, but before Shepard could register more than just the shock of the motion, the nipple was released and Kaidan's fingernails left a burning trail down his chest to his hip.

"Fuck," Shepard moaned.

He didn't know how long Kaidan teased him like that. Soft feathery touches interspersed with pinches and scratches that were just short of too painful. Kisses and bites threaded between every caress. All he knew was that he wanted those hands and mouth to move lower, but Kaidan never moved lower than the waistband of Shepard's shorts.

"Kaidan, please."

Kaidan looked up from skin that was brightly marked with scratch lines and love bites to see the muscles in Shepard's arms twitching. His voice had been hoarse with need, and it was obvious that he was struggling to hold still.

"Please, what?" Kaidan asked casually as he raked his nails over a patch of skin that hadn't received attention for several minutes.

Shepard actually growled at him. Kaidan laughed, unable to hide his delight.

"Kaidan!" Shepard snapped.

There was a touch of The Commander in his voice. Kaidan wasn't about to give up his control despite the almost knee jerk reaction that had him reaching for Shepard's hard dick. Instead he brushed his fingers over the hollow of his hip. "Yes?" he drawled as he moved the caress to Shepard's inner thigh and and then switched to the other side and reversed the motion up over the other hip.

Shepard flexed his thighs. "I want you to touch me," he said huskily.

"I am touching you," Kaidan said in a reasonable tone that he knew was going to irritate the other man.

"It's not enough," Shepard said. His voice cracked at the end because as soon as he'd opened his mouth, Kaidan had squeezed his hard length through the fabric of his shorts.

Kaidan leaned down to put his mouth next to Shepard's ears as he began to stroke. "Is this what you wanted?" he asked. He pressed his thumb against the dampness at the head of Shepard's dick.

The whine he got was answer enough. Kaidan chuckled and moved down the bed. He placed a kiss on the damp fabric where he'd pressed with his thumb just seconds before, and then pulled Shepard's shorts down, finally stripping him naked.

He took a moment to enjoy the sight of the throbbing flesh standing straight up from a neatly trimmed thatch of dark hair before leaning down to nuzzle Shepard's hip. That got him another growl and a thrust of Shepard's hips. Kaidan punished him by staying there. He kissed and nibbled and sucked the skin of Shepard's hip until he got the hint and stopped wriggling.

The scent of Shepard's skin made Kaidan light headed and he took a slow breath through his nose, pulling it in deep into himself. He lifted his head and looked up the length of Shepard's body, then back down to his hard dick. Anticipation filled him and he dipped his head.

When Shepard felt the head of his dick slip between Kaidan's lips, he let out a hoarse shout. His arms jerked halfway down in a move meant to grab Kaidan by the hair and hold him in place while Shepard shoved himself deep into his mouth. He caught himself almost immediately though and put his arms back over his head.

Every muscle in his body strained and he couldn't stop himself from thrusting into Kaidan's mouth. One strong hand grabbed his hip and held him down while the other tucked under Shepard's balls, pushing them up. Kaidan alternated between kissing them and laving them with his tongue and sucking the head of Shepard's dick between his lips.

The bites and scratches spread over his chest and stomach tingled slightly, and Kaidan's thumb was probably going to leave a bruise on Shepard's hip, but all he could think about was the wet heat of Kaidan's mouth. Everything else was just background noise.

He could feel the pressure building inside of him with every swipe of Kaidan's tongue. Growing and pulsing until he-

Kaidan suddenly stopped what he was doing and Shepard cried out with loss. He was so close. He just needed the wet pressure of Kaidan's lips and he'd be there. But instead of getting more of Kaidan's touch, he lost it completely.

Shepard nearly brought his hands down to touch himself, but a sharp "Stay put," kept them in place. He couldn't help moving though. He wanted to roll over and writhe against the mattress, but he bit his bottom lip and took deep even breaths until his body calmed down slightly.

Once his breathing slowed down he realized he couldn't feel Kaidan touching him at all. "Kai... Kaidan?" he asked uncertainly.

"I'm here." The voice came from the foot of the bed, and now that he was paying attention, Shepard could feel a tilt to the mattress towards where Kaidan must be sitting.

Shepard let out a sigh. "What are you doing?"

There was a soft chuckle. "I've been touching you for nearly an hour. I decided I needed to give myself a little bit of attention as well."

Tilting his head towards Kaidan's voice, Shepard licked his lips. "You're stroking your cock?" he asked gruffly.

"Yes," Kaidan answered. His voice was deeper and smoother than usual.

An image of Kaidan masturbating filled Shepard's mind, and he bit down hard on his bottom lip for a second before saying "I want you to fuck me, Kaidan."

Kaidan's hand stilled. He wanted that too. He loved sinking into Shepard, loved the feel of being inside him and all around him at the same time. He'd already slicked himself up with lube, and had intended to do just what Shepard requested. But this night was all about trying new things, and it occurred to him now as his eyes devoured the sight of his lover's strong body spread out for him, that he'd never had Shepard inside of him.

"That's what you want, is it?" Kaidan rasped. He let go of his dick and crawled over to Shepard.

"Yes," Shepard breathed.

Kaidan didn't answer. He straddled Shepard's hips and used a thumb to flip open the bottle of tube he'd had in his hand for the last few minutes. He squeezed out a liberal amount and reached behind himself to slide a slick finger into himself.

"Kaidan, what are you-?"

"Shhh..." Kaidan soothed. He slid a second finger in next to the first and did his best to prepare himself. Shepard wasn't quite as big around as Kaidan was, but it had been a while since he'd let anyone fuck him and he didn't want to hurt himself.

Shepard stilled under him. His breathing was quick and shallow, and Kaidan suspected he'd figured out what was going on. Neither of them said anything for the next several minutes, although Shepard groaned softly when Kaidan spread lube over the head of his dick.

Kaidan guided Shepard to his entrance, and slowly, carefully sank down. He closed his eyes and bit his lip at the burn of being entered for the first time in years. He took it slow, and eventually he was able to rest his weight fully on Shepard's hips.

"Oh god," Shepard whined. "You're tight."

You're bigger than I thought, Kaidan thought, but he kept it to himself. The burn had faded and now all he felt was pleasure at being filled. Experimentally he rocked his hips, and almost laughed at the string of curses that brought from Shepard.

He rocked again, and this time he swore too. He opened his eyes and looked down at Shepard. The marks he'd left on Shepard were livid on his pale skin, his lips were swollen from being chewed on- Shepard would alternate between biting his bottom lip and his top lip when he was aroused- and he was shaking with the effort of keeping his hands above his head.

Kaidan drank in the sight, and began to move.

Shepard had been slightly worried by how tight Kaidan felt, but that feeling was burned away now as Kaidan moved on top of him. He bucked under the other man's weight, trying to get deeper, wanting to thrust harder, but as long as he had his hands above his head he was limited to letting Kaidan ride him.

The sounds Kaidan was making was driving Shepard crazy. Each gasp, each moan, each whisper of "fuck, Shepard," was bringing him closer to the edge. He wanted to come. He wanted to spill himself inside Kaidan. But not yet. Not yet.

In an effort to control himself, he turned his head and bit his bicep. The pain brought him back from the edge, although it did nothing to dull his passion. It only helped him focus on something other than the feel of being deep inside Kaidan.

"John," Kaidan said harshly. "Give me your hands."

It took an effort for Shepard to unclench his teeth, but he obeyed the order and brought his hands down. Kaidan grabbed them, and wrapped them around his dick which was slick with lube. Shepard felt a thrill of excitement at finally having something to do with his hands, and he gripped them both tight around Kaidan's dick, fucking him with his hands.

Sparks of dark energy suddenly swept over both of them as Kaidan flared. Shepard felt his own biotics slip, and he flared in return. And as they were wrapped in each other's energy field, Kaidan began to come.

Hot seed splashed through Shepard's fingers and onto his stomach and chest. Each drop was warm when it landed, but it cooled quickly. Shepard brought his bound hands up to his mouth and began to suck the slick fluid from his fingers.

At the sight of Shepard eagerly licking his fingers, Kaidan felt his dick pulse one more time.

I love you. The words were there, on the tip of his tongue.

He dropped forward, pressing his chest against Shepard's and trapping his bound hands between them. Kaidan reached up to pushed the blindfold up so he could see Shepard's eyes. Cupping Shepard's face in his hands, he kissed him.

"I love you," he said into Shepard's mouth.

Shepard exploded into motion under him, pulling his hands free of the loose bindings and with a strength enhanced by cybernetics he reversed their position while staying buried deep inside Kaidan. His blue eyes had darkened to nearly black as he stared down at Kaidan. "Say it again," he said harshly.

Definitely the voice of The Commander.

"I love you," Kaidan repeated. He let out a small yell when Shepard began to move, fucking him hard and deep. Now that he'd orgasmed, he was sore, but he was so overwhelmed by the intense look on Shepard's face that he didn't care. "I love you," he repeated.

"Oh god, Kaidan," Shepard moaned above him. His thrusts sped up, but he never broke eye contact.

"I love you," Kaidan said again.

He watched in awe as Shepard's face contorted as he began to come. He held eye contact, thrusting hard once more before losing strength in his arms and collapsing onto Kaidan's chest. Kaidan wrapped his arms around him, stroking him as he shuddered through the last few moments of his orgasm.

Shepard's body eventually stilled, other than the rise and fall of his ribs with each deep breath he took. Just as his weight became slightly uncomfortable, he pushed himself up on his elbows and looked down at Kaidan. His face was serious, with the crinkle he got between his brows when he was thinking hard about something.

"You don't have to say anything," Kaidan said softly. It hurt to say, but just like he wouldn't push Shepard into accepting being tied down with strips of cloth, he wouldn't push him into saying words he wasn't ready to say yet. If ever.

The wrinkle between Shepard's brows deepened. "Kaidan," he started.

"It's okay, I-" Kaidan started, but he broke off when Shepard leaned down and kissed him softly. A lump rose up in his throat at it's tenderness.

Shepard broke the kiss and leaned up just enough so that Kaidan could see that he was smiling now. Hope rose up in his chest.

"I love you," Shepard said. "I've loved you since... well, always."

It was Kaidan's turn to frown. "What? You mean you..." he trailed off, trying to absorb the idea that he might have been able to go past simple flirting back on the SR1.

Shepard's smile turned sheepish. "Not quite love at first sight," he said softly. "Maybe third."

A laugh bubbled up in Kaidan's chest. The third time they'd seen each other on the ship after joining Anderson's crew had been the time they'd ended up in the showers at the same time. But just in case he was remembering wrong, he had to ask. "Are you talking about that time in the shower?"

"You left first, and I had to rub one out quickly before anyone else came in," Shepard admitted with a wide grin. "It was quite an effort to keep how much I enjoyed the sight of your ass a secret from you."

"I had a migraine," Kaidan said. He was tracing the scar along Shepard's jaw absently. "I wasn't paying much attention to you."

"Thank god," Shepard said with mock sincerity. "I was so worried you'd notice and report me to Anderson. I'd only been XO for a few days... I didn't want to fuck it up so soon."

"I feel like I missed an opportunity," Kaidan said on a sigh.

"We have time now," Shepard replied quietly.

Kaidan smiled. "Yeah, I guess we do." Maybe not a lot of time. This war was making every day uncertain. But he'd take every second he could get. "Say it again?" he asked.

Shepard leaned down and whispered it against his lips. "I love you."


	11. Sad Kisses

Gabe sat cross legged on the floor in front of the hearth, his legs buried under Spark's bulk. The mabari's breathing was slowing, each inhale not as deep as the one before. Every so often he wheezed, and Gabe would choke back a sob. He would lean forward and kiss Spark's nose, his forehead. He'd nuzzle Spark's ears, whispering something so low that even Fenris' sensitive ears could not catch the words.

Firelight cast shadows across Gabe's face, and for once Fenris was glad he couldn't see the man's features clearly. The pain in his eyes was too much for Fenris.

He could only watch as Gabe ran blunt fingers through thinning fur.

Fenris watched from where he stood near the door, standing vigil over the man he loved and the dog he'd also come to care for over the years. He wanted to do something, anything. He wanted to go find Anders. Surely Anders could cure what Gabe could not.

He knew that wasn't possible. There was no cure for old age. But he still wished….

Fenris didn't know how long they spent waiting for Spark to take his last breath. When the mabari's chest sank down on an exhale and did not rise again, he felt tears well up in his eyes. He blinked rapidly to clear his vision. He opened his mouth, unsure what he intended to say. "Gabe, I…"

When Gabe looked up at him, he stopped, his voice caught in his throat.

Bloodshot brown eyes swam with tears, which spilled over and trailed down a haggard face. Despite the grey at his temples, and scattered through his beard, Gabe looked very young. He pulled Spark's still warm body tight against his chest. "He's gone," he said hoarsely. "I knew he wouldn't be around forever, but…" He broke off and bent his head down so that he could kiss the top of Spark's head. "It hurts, Fenris. Maker, it hurts so much." The last word broke on a sob.

Fenris finally moved, kneeling down beside Gabe. He reached out and ran his fingers through thick black hair. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss against Gabe's shoulder, giving silent comfort. Tears flooded his eyes again, and his breath hitched. "I will miss him," he rumbled softly.

"Me too," Gabe said softly. "Me too."


End file.
